Advice is kinda the main purpose of this forum. And you're being disingenuous, you DO 'get' it, you just don't want to take good advice.
You don't want to accept the reality that you're too young, but mostly far too underdeveloped for AAS to make sense. Also, you don't want to suck it up and at the very least lean out significantly first so even your work ethic is also questionable.
You're practically the poster child of who should NOT do AAS.